so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
