i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
