So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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