That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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