i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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