i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
