Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
