We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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