you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
