You can't special order awesome
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
