areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's Friday. Sex?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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