Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
