Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
