which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
