This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
