my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
