wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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