She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
