I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
