Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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