So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize