Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I could fuck to npr.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
