Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize