just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
