Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
