HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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