you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize