Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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