He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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