I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
worst night to have a conscience
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
