it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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