I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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