yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
