just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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