I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
