Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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