So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
