the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
