He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
