I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
