I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
