i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
