upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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