Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
