if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
