Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize