Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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