when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she told me i tasted like america
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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