if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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