Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
