yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
