If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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