so that wasnt chicken after all
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
