i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
