U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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