Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
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