Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
