nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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