I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
