The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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