38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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