these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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