I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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