I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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