If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
