I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
