Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dual....:-)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
