I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
