he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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