Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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