I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
