You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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