Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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