Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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