whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
