He is an equal opportunity slut.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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