Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The ass gains better be worth it
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