Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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