i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
