we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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