Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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