just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
