I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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