I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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